Tuesday, February 02, 2010

11:42 PM...............................................................................

The thing about getting nabbed in the dark once is that you no longer dare to walk alone say....past 7pm.


Just now, due to some carelessness on my part and misunderstandings on their part, I was left stranded with no choice but to walk home. Alone. In the night.

The brain is hard wired in an amazing way. A way that is designed to keep you alive. It learns and remembers. Once a danger, always a danger. . And hence the birth of triggers and post posttraumatic stress disorders.

Here's what wiki has to say on trauma:

"After a traumatic experience, a person may re-experience the trauma mentally and physically, hence avoiding trauma reminders, also called triggers, as this can be uncomfortable and even painful.

They may turn to psychoactive substances including alcohol to try to escape the feelings. Re-experiencing symptoms are a sign that the body and mind are actively struggling to cope with the traumatic experience.

Triggers and cues act as reminders of the trauma, and can cause anxiety and other associated emotions. Often the person can be completely unaware of what these triggers are"

But I know what my triggers are. They are
1. Walking alone in the dark
2. the sounds of approaching closely paced footsteps from behind

Trigger 1 has been pretty manageable. It something I can consciously avoid or arrange alternative plans for. But for 2. Oh boy, it's a trigger anytime of the day. And conjuring the related emotions associated with the snatch thief is an extremely unpleasant experience.

But thankfully, I managed trigger 1 today alright. (Home in 1 piece too) haha. Reflecting on my trip home alone just now, I thought the heightening of my sense of awareness of my surrounding is quite cool.

Self awareness ftw.